Gabriel is upset that I called his mother a liar. I don’t know that she is lying so much as the facts she presents him with are not true. Besides his artistic pursuits, Gabriel maintains a blue collar 9-5 relying on his pension to weather old age gracfully. A pension is a poor man’s investment in the future. This man is incredibly talented and could be wealthy now but for his mother’s fear. If he does well he might leave her behind. If he does well she looks bad for not reaching her potential. Louisa claims I’m into Gabriel for his money. “A woman chooses a man for security”. Maybe she does. Personally, I’ve always stood on my own two feet. What Gabriel earns would be pocket change to some of my ex-boyfriends. I’m not a kept woman. I don’t need to be rescued. Money is a wonderful tool whereby you have increased options adding to the quality of your life. But you have got to have a life first. Money cannot buy me love, or peace for that matter.
Totally naive about Louisa’s fear of abandonment, Gabriel can’t figure out why every woman he brings home to momma is unfit. Louisa does and will continue to reject any woman he brings to her for approval because it means he might leave her. Gabriel is all she really has. This is not healthy. As his mother, you would think she would want him to meet his needs. And he does need a woman’s love. That is why he keeps trying. Louisa is trying to meet her need for love. That is why he keeps failing.
Scripture says, “therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife” (Genesis 2:24). In those days extended families lived in compounds. You didn’t just up and leave the compound. What this passage refers to is the emotional disconnect a healthy adult makes from his parents in order to establish an immediate family unit of his own. Parents grow old and die. Their legacy continues in the children they raise who in turn raise children of their own. And so the generations go on to prosper in thought and action. Inheritance is more than financial gain.
If Gabriel ever admits his mother had me all wrong, the foundations of his life would crumble. He would then have to ask himself, what else has she been wrong about. What else has she kept him from achieving? If my own mother is a hater what will the rest of the world do to me? Serious issues for a man already in crisis afraid of losing his mind.
At times, I did think Gabriel had lost his mind. The things he said and did made no sense, running contrary to his personal experience. Gabriel is not psychotic. He has abdicated his throne of judgment by allowing Louisa to co-opt his critical thought processes. Seemingly unaware of who or what he is, or what he believes, until she tells him. Many men are like that. Not knowing what to think until a woman tells them what to think. But Gabriel is very bright, unusually intelligent with a vibrant zest for life. I did expect more from him than the usual man.
He claims I am obsessed, but I remember. I remember waiting for Gabriel, my king, to ascend his throne, establishing his own dominion.
