This blog was started to sort out the crash and burn feelings of a failed relationship. He won't talk to me so I've decided to talk to the world. My story is not unique. So if you think you recognize yourself or someone you know, please, check your perceptions. All names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.

Love is a hormone induced state of being. The emotional high is incredibly addictive. Like most junkies I craved that next hit. Like most junkies, mainlining Gabriel almost destroyed me. There are no 12 step programs for this kind of thing. I did it by becoming a friend of JC. The bible became my 'big book', the Holy Spirit, my sponsor,

Friday, March 6, 2009

Chapter 3

Gabriel Cates and Persephone Braun (aka Kate) met years ago while working the underground tunnels of the “Chute”. Their demons recognized each other immediately. Gabriel likes his women with big asses and big egos. Persephone likes being the center of attention. Each validates the other’s criteria.

She claims to be “happily married and pregnant”; steadfastly denying that she even knows a Gabriel Cates. Except I found them linked on an online social network. You can’t burn anything without leaving ashes. The day after I called Persephone, she updated her friends list, deleting Gabriel in the process. She also blocked my access. The date, February 12th, clearly shows on her page. During our talk, Persephone tries to pump me for information. She wants to know, how old I am, do I feel used, have you gone to his job to talk to him? She then allows me to overhear a phone call to her dispatcher. Obscenely loud, she asks if there is a cashier named Gabriel Cates. I have told her his job description and it ain’t “cashier”. If she does not know the man, why would any of this matter? After dealing a few more tricks from her tarot deck, (she thought I was having an affair with her husband) we end the call. I can smell a lie a mile away. The stench was beginning to give me a headache.

Among Gabriel's "toys" is an impossibly large, black, strap on dildo. I remember thinking...what healthy woman could possibly accommodate such a thing. Then it hits me. He doesn't wear it. She does. The images in my mind begin to cascade. Furiously riding her from the rear, he slaps her, chokes her, she returns the favor by riding him. Both spewing guttural obscenities like a scene from some porno film I hope never to see. No wonder Persephone denies knowing him. No wonder he keeps her identity tucked away in the darkest corners of his mind. He claims I am obsessed, but I remember. I remember wondering, what kind of demons cause such a disintegrated personality