The other women in Gabriel’s life are beginning to see the changes in him. For the first time in who knows how long, Gabriel looks good. I have taught him how to lower his blood pressure without medication. Eating clean cuisine from scratch, he’s lost a few pounds. His mind is focused, able to get things done. I don’t think they like it very much. Thinking for himself makes it difficult to control Gabriel in the ways to which they have become accustomed.
His mother, Louisa, complains that she never sees him anymore. She takes it as a personal affront to her authority, believing that he spends all of his time with me. I tell her, he’s busy working on the show. Of course, she does not want to hear that. Louisa blames me for stealing Gabriel’s time. She is used to seeing him every day, now he’s only there a few times a week. I suffer her ire with grace. Gabriel loves his mother. I care about Gabriel, which includes helping him meet his mother’s needs. I prepare food for him to take to her house. In a skilled nursing facility recovering from surgery she was required to get dressed each morning as part of her therapy. Gabriel was so overwhelmed with worry he couldn’t find the clothing she needed. I used my personal resources, time and money to make sure she got what he said she wanted. I hate housework, but I scrubbed her floors, cleaned her kitchen, and laundered her clothing. All this in addition to keeping Gabriel’s home spotless, preparing his meals, doing his laundry, and running his company.
This company was a dream Gabriel had been kicking around for years before I met him. He kept talking about it, never really doing anything to make it happen. I’m always thinking of ways to “show” him how much he means to me. So one day after he left for his 9 to 5, I gathered together his personal information, dug into my savings, went online and purchased the articles of corporation. Went he got home I told him I had an early birthday present for him. Archangel Enterprises LLC was now a legal entity registered in the state of Pennsylvania. Curiously, Gabriel was trying to contain his joy. At the time, I had yet to realize how effectively Louisa was undermining my efforts on behalf of her son. However, she was not the only one.
He claims I am obsessed, but I remember. I remember being installed at his mother's house while he is supposedly at work. His mother is in a nursing home recuperating from a surgery that is threatening to exact a toll on her aging body. I remember, being adrift in a sea of something not quite right, an ocean of anxiety, a maelstrom of dis-ease. Peace, be still. Call him just to be sure.
"Gabriel, are you okay?" tentatively, intrinsically afraid of the answer.
"Everything is fine" he assures me. Still dissatisfied, I call him several times. He's hard to reach. He's "at work". But I need to know. I need to know that he is safe, mind and body intact.
"For real, for real, I'm fine, everything's okay, listen....I need to get back to work. I'll pick you up when I'm done."
I've had this feeling before. Once, when my brother was murdered. Again, when my home had been invaded by rowdy men looking for a good time. Gabriel knows I have second sight. I know Gabriel is lying. Nothing to do now but meditate.
Her image slams into my consciousness like a freight car derailed. "Kiss me Kate", The Taming o the Shrew". She who practices the witchcraft and tarot cards he has begun to accuse me of. She who pisses in his ear reinforcing his psychobabble tantrums. Medium height, full figured, with wide hips. Her eyes a curious shade of brown ordinarily found in Negroes from the Midwest. She who allows him to unleash his bodily functions on her like a tortured man uses a sheep.
The evidence is apparent only to me. Our freshly made bed now reeks of her envy and his greed. I cannot sleep here, but Gabriel wants to do the "bunny hop". As usual, I acquiesce, ever ready to give him whatever he asks for. I end up sobbing, retiring to another room, out of sight, out of bind.
This is spiritual warfare. Kate, I'm sure, thinks she has won. However, if he does this to me who gave him light, love, and laughter, what will he eventually do to her, his barnyard lover? They deserve each other. I deserve better.
Yes, he claims I am obsessed, but I remember. I remember what Kate will learn to regret.
