When something goes wrong,
I’m the first to admit it.
The first to admit it, but the last one to know
When something goes right you’re likely to lose me
It’s apt to confuse me
It’s such an unusual sight
I can’t get used to something so right
Paul Simon – “Something so Right”
For the past six months, I have supported Gabriel in his “Pursuit of Happiness”. Without benefit of definition, I have been his friend, lover, confidant, and wife. Yes, I said wife. Mr. “I don’t want no girlfriend” has gotten all the perks.
His home is spotless. My time, energy, and money have been invested in keeping him healthy and prosperous. I have proofed his play. When the original cast wouldn’t catch his vision, I fired everybody, at Gabriel’s request, then taught him how to turn the whole thing into a performance art piece. I directed the new cast and at various times, coached them in the fine art of drama. I co- wrote music and lyrics, coached his featured vocalist, then went into the studio and sang backup. I built his website, designed tickets and had them professionally printed at a huge discount. I wrote pr copy, designed the set, designed and made costumes and props. I have gotten out of bed at 3:00 am to do story boards.
“I don’t feel appreciated” , Gabriel is sitting on the end of our bed. He’s wearing a diamond Freeze watch that retails for $1200, the same bling that the rappers wear in his favorite videos. He’s also wearing a pair of 14k gold diamond checkerboard earrings, another gift from me. I bought this stuff because Gabriel tells me he is “visual.” He needs to” see” things in real time. So, now I’m wondering if the man has gone blind? Where does he think the effort comes from? I ain’t pulling no rabbits outta no hats here.
Gabriel says I do things to deliberately irritate him. The sound of my sandals sets his teeth on edge. He doesn’t like the way I wash the sheets. The food tastes funny. He wants to wear a pair of jeans that aren’t clean. Can he choose another pair from the 20 or so already in the closet? No, he has to have that particular pair and it’s all my fault they are not clean.
Gabriel whines, “All you do is sit around on your ass smokin’ cigarettes and playin’ solitaire.”
He claims I am obsessed, but I remember. I remember mourning the loss of something so right.
